Unexpected Death
Written by Gordon on July 27th, 2009
Gordon Graham here and again thank you so much for taking the time to visit my little corner of this great website. I hope that you are enjoying your vacation – and thinking just a bit about some of the “risks” involved in traveling to new places and doing things you normally don’t do.
I planned on writing a piece about Father’s Day for this iteration of my monthly writing, but recent events in the news have caused me to write about something else. I am preparing this piece on June 28 and in the last two days we have witnessed the deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon and today Billy Mays.
So I will instead write about “death” – that is always such a “happy” topic. There is nothing we can do to prevent death. Perhaps there are many things we can do to prolong life and delay “death” but death is part of life and is indeed a certainty.
With respect to the four “celebrity” deaths referenced above, Mr. McMahon was 86 and his passing was somewhat expected. There is a lot of data out there suggesting how long you will live, and Mr. Carson’s sidekick was in that range. And I will always thank Mr. Carson and Mr. McMahon for keeping me awake with some laughs during the years I was in night school in the 70’s.
And with respect to Ms. Fawcett, we knew she was ill for several years and her cancer was severe and thus her death was somewhat expected. And I can recall watching “Charlie’s Angels” and thinking how beautiful she was. And then I met my lovely bride and found out what real beauty is all about.
And the death of the “king of pop”, while unexpected – was (in retrospect) somewhat “predictable” based on the information now coming out regarding allegations of massive drug abuse – and while I was never a big fan of Mr. Jackson – I know many people were so I will not insert any of my personal comments in this writing.
I was surprised – very surprised in fact, to hear of the death of “the ultimate pitchman”, Billy Mays – and like Mr. Jackson he too was fifty years old. There is some talk about being struck in the head on a plane yesterday – and I look forward to reading this information and learning as much as I can. If you have been to any of my live lectures, you know I talk about “where” to sit on a plane – and the dangers of aisle seats and falling luggage – but that is not my focus for this piece.
My focus today is on what needs to be done to prepare for your death – and the nasty thought of your untimely death. Death not because of a long illness will give you have plenty of time to prepare. Death not caused by a reckless life style, but rather a totally unexpected death. Are you prepared for that?
Please do not view any of this as legal advice, but here are some thoughts.
Do you have a last will and testament and if so is it up to date. You would be amazed how many people I have met in my lawyer life that do not have a will because they are “too young” or “not going to die soon”. And trust me, you do not want to die “intestate”.
If you have a will with a trust – has it been reviewed recently to make sure that all of your assets are properly categorized or otherwise accounted for? In talking to estate lawyers, this seems to be a common problem – people gather assets after the preparation of a trust and said assets are not specified in their trust. That can cause a lot of grief for your loved ones and your estate.
Have you updated the “beneficiaries” in your insurance policy? There is not a month that goes by that I do not hear about someone failing to update his or her insurance beneficiaries following a divorce or the death of a beneficiary. And indeed, these can get very nasty – although I did once deal with an ex-wife (who was still the named beneficiary in spite of a remarriage by her ex-husband) and she shocked me when she allowed the new wife (with young kids) to receive that money. Trust me, she was not the “norm” when it comes to this issue!
Have you written down some thoughts on what you want your family to do following your death? I learned about this from a friend (Thanks Richard) who was very well organized – and still alive I might add – but he told me about his “checking out papers”. This is not a “valid” will, but rather some thoughts on where the “will” and other important documents are and what the combination is for the safe, and some other directions for immediate family members.
My personal “checking out papers” (COP) contain some thoughts on which lawyer to contact should I be the victim of a plane crash – although I try to stay off Airbus Products (they are made in France and who reading this piece has a French car?) so I am trying to manage that risk. I have some other recommendations for lawyers to contact should I die in another manner like food poisoning or medical malpractice.
And my “COP” have some thoughts on who to contact for assistance following my death to organize the various insurance policies and the like and some suggestions on how to allocate those resources. I also have some suggestions on who should finalize the projects that I am working on so they get done correctly.
And I am aware of another fellow who has a list of suspects made in case he should be murdered. He also gives direction on what music he wants played at his “wake” and “funeral” – and who he wants to have as his pallbearers.
And I am thinking about something I saw in an “Angelina Jolie” movie in which her dad prepped all sorts of “letters” to be delivered to his daughter at specific times during his life and after his death. I have not done that – but it is a thought.
Just typing this piece is depressing me – but I feel an obligation to speak about this with you today. For those of you who are “active” firefighters, you know the risks and the data and any day you work could insert you into some “unthinkable” event that could cause your death.
And for those of you who are retired, something totally unexpected could occur any day or night that would prevent you from enjoying another day alive. A recent advertisement on TV (not involving the formerly ubiquitous Billy Mays) was trying to get me to visit the State of Michigan.
And their “pitch” was that the average person has 25,000 mornings – and that at least some of your mornings should be spent waking up in Michigan – and my guess is that they were not talking about Detroit.
I don’t know exactly where you are on the “25,000” flowchart – but regardless of how many mornings you think you have remaining – something could happen to make today your last day. Please take the time to get your affairs in order so that your loved ones will not have to wonder what “your wishes” would have been.
I promise I will be more upbeat next month, and I hope the above triggers you to take some action today to minimize future problems.
Until next time, please take the time to work safely – and enjoy each and every morning to the fullest. I am looking forward to a brief vacation this week with the family – and spending some time on the water.
And amongst my accumulated stuff, my “pride and joy” is my old wooden boat and my old car and I will have to check my papers to make sure that both get a good home.
Gordon Graham
Co-President, Lexipol
