The Value of Storytelling
Written by Gordon on December 2nd, 2008
Gordon Graham here again (at 41,000 feet the pilot said) with my monthly opportunity to give you some thoughts on your job in the fire service. I know that you (those who are still on the job) have once again been busy with the “late” wildland issues all the way into November but hopefully things will have calmed down on the fire front by the time you read this in early December. So now you can get ready for the floods and mudslides!
And I know you have heard this numerous times already – but my has this year flown by! And all I can say to you in this regard is thank you for another year of hard work in some very trying times – both internally and externally.
And before I start rambling on that issue, let me quickly get to the point of this column today. A lot of my time is spent on “live” speaking opportunities – where I deliver a planned message to a group of people regarding topics selected by whoever coordinated or sponsored the given program. I have been doing this type of work now for thirty years and if you subscribe to the recent thoughts of Malcolm Gladwell – I have my “10,000 hours” in this arena.
And generally speaking, there are not a lot of questions from the audience during the presentation (and there are a number of reasons why this is so) but after the program, I always try to put aside some time to address issues of concern that any given attendee may have regarding the presentation or anything else that they are interested in.
And recently I was approached by a young firefighter who came up after a program and he proudly informed me that he is in law school (his last year) and he asked an interesting question about the types of legal cases I did when I was a new lawyer and still with the Patrol. And I had not given that question a lot of thought lately – so I gave him the detailed answer.
When I passed the California Bar Exam in 1982, it was widely assumed that I would leave the CHP and become a prosecutor or a State Deputy Attorney General. And while I did entertain that thought – I really loved what I was doing but I wanted to make a couple of extra bucks so I opened up my practice at Hollywood and Ivar. And because this constituted “secondary employment” I had to fill out a form for the Patrol stating what I was going to do and since I was the first person on the Patrol to stay on the job after passing the Bar – there were all sorts of questions as to what type of law I was going to do.
And to make a long story very short (and to summarize a forest or two worth of paper going back and forth between LA and Sacramento) it was decided by the powers that were in place at the time that I could not do criminal law (like I wanted to do that type of law) nor could I sue police departments (like I wanted to do that) nor could I sue the State or any political subdivision in the State (like I wanted to do that) nor could I do any type of law that would embarrass the CHP (like I wanted to do that) so it got down to what I planned on doing when I started law school – police divorce cases!
If you are not aware of this, cops get divorced – a lot – and I have learned over the years that there are a bunch of reasons why these divorces occur at such a high rate in my former profession and I was explaining all of these things to the young firefighter I was talking to and how I tried to mediate these potentially nasty events between the parties in order to save attorney’s fees and make friends who might need my services later in life for a more lucrative type of case and how this idea allowed my practice to ultimately become a PI (personal injury) type of law firm. And our conversation continued and I asked him if he was going to do “firefighter” divorces to get his practice started and he came back with an interesting comment – “firefighters don’t get divorced.”
Now I know that his comment was very general in nature – and also inaccurate because I have handled firefighter divorces (and I told him that) and he then followed up with the quantity question – “how many?” And with that comment he had me cold. I never tallied up the total number of police divorces I did (and it would be a big number) but I can count the firefighter divorces on one hand and could do so even if I were a sloppy carpenter who was missing a couple of fingers. In the twenty years I was doing divorce work – I handled (or referred) three divorces involving firefighters.
Anyhow, I finished up my conversation with this young man and wished him the best in his soon to be new career as an attorney – but the firefighter thing stuck in my head until today when I was perusing the December issue of Scientific American Mind magazine (and having shared that with you my subscription becomes tax deductible) and I was reading the letters to the editor and came across this letter (from a firefighter) about a piece in the November issue about “storytelling”. Here is his (and I am assuming it was a male) comment.
“Throughout my career in the fire service I was exposed to (and told a few of my own) stories about “how I survived to tell the tale.” These were meant, and accepted, as lessons on how to be effective at the job while living long enough to be a silverback. Similar conversations broke out every year near the start of hunting season. Old soldiers’ tales and a myriad of other survival stories may represent an important reason for storytelling, beyond socialization.”
Now I have “zero” actuarial data to recite to you regarding this issue – but a ton of anecdotal data to make this statement. There are a lot of benefits to “sitting around the table” telling stories. In fact, the previous article in SAM laid out a good argument regarding the value of “storytelling” and how these stories help transfer information from one person to another – and from one generation to another.
And my “hypothesis” here is that the “team” of firefighters discussing the business and other issues (including life issues) and oftentimes using “stories” (real and imagined) to emphasize the point they were trying to make. In fact, I use this technique a lot in my “live” presentations because it works very well.
Now back to cops for a second – and the much higher divorce rate (an assumption on my part but I think an accurate one) involving police personnel. Most cops work solo – and the only time you get together with other cops is at start of shift (where there are all sorts of time pressures to get out on the beat) or on calls requiring more than one cop (where the focus of the conversation is the involved incident) or at the end of shift (where there is a time pressure to change clothes and get home).
My point here is that cops – as a rule – don’t have a lot of time to share experiences (job related and life related) through stories. Cops work by themselves for the most part and do not have a lot of time to mingle with other cops to discuss things other than incident specific issues. And most of what you have learned – you learned by yourself. And some of these lessons learned are indeed tough ones.
So what is my point here? I think that there is great value in having a group of people who do the same work and share the same experiences tell stories to each other. I am certain that some of these “stories” have ultimately provided “memory markers” to others and these vicarious experiences being so related have actually saved lives on a fireground and in other risky settings.
And I am further convinced that some of these “stories” (of a personal nature) have actually prevented firefighters from doing something stupid that may have caused turmoil in a relationship and possibly even a divorce.
And when I ran this theory by some of my firefighter friends (prior to submitting this piece to this website) – I could see their eyes light up and I knew I was onto something. And then my friends gave me some examples to validate my thinking. Here are a couple of thoughts – and you can fill in the rest of the story.
“Don’t work that overtime shift son, you need to be home as much as possible because her Mom is dying.”
“Stop hanging around with that (other) woman. Nothing but bad is going to come out of your talking to her so knock it off now.”
“You might want to ask your wife about that truck purchase in advance son.”
“Did you remember to get a gift for your anniversary?”
Anyhow, you get the drift here. There are a lot of benefits involved in learning from the mistakes (oftentimes this is the focus of the story) of others. So with this in mind, the next time you are “hanging out around the table” you might want to share some of your life’s lessons with those who are now where you were years ago. And maybe, just maybe, you will be able to share something that might save a life – or a marriage.
Anyhow, that is it for today. The seatbelt light has just come back on and I sense a descent. So I will sign off until next month – which means next year. Until we meet again (either here or in person) please take the time to work safely.
Gordon Graham
Co-President, Lexipol
